Avoiding Peer Pressure: A Peer Pressure Thought
“Just say ‘No’ to the things you
aren’t comfortable with!” Is it really that simple? Well,
that was the answer I got from my 12-year old cousin
when I asked him about Peer Pressure. His answer caught
me off guard. He seemed to have conceptualized in his
mind at age 12, what many of us, including myself, struggle
with throughout life; do not be persuaded by peer pressure.
On one level, the formula for avoiding peer pressure really is as simple as my cousin
made it. However, we all know that the execution of this
formula in real life is much more difficult to complete.
I am sure many of you have seen the commercial where the
girl is experiencing so much peer pressure it squashes
her into a cube with arms. Her whole existence and form
have been altered by peer pressure. This visual analogy
may seem a little weird, but it accurately represents the
effect peer pressure can have on us. It will push, pull,
and shape us into something we do not want to be, if we
allow it to.
We all want to be accepted by our peers; and high school
is a time when the pressure to fit in, look a certain way, or act in
a certain way reaches a very high level. Think about some of the actions
or decisions you make on a daily basis; the clothes you wear, how you
act in front of certain people, or the hobbies and activities you choose
to participate in. Then ask yourself if the opinion of your peers plays
a part in your actions and decisions in these situations. It can play
a pretty large role.
The 1st Step is Acknowledgement
One of the most important steps in dealing
with and avoiding peer pressure is recognizing its existence and
its power to influence you. If you can quickly identify
situations where your peers are negatively pressuring you,
then you have taken the initial step in overcoming it.
When you feel pressure to do something you are not comfortable
with, do not be afraid to literally ask yourself the question,
“Is this something I really want to do? And will this positively
affect my life?” This process allows you to take a step
back and look at the pressure you are feeling for what
it really is, and decide if you should be doing it or not.
During some of my high school years I can remember doing
things without consciously thinking about the impact the
decision I was making might have on my life. I was thinking in “micro”
when I should have been thinking in “macro”. By this I mean that I was
only thinking about the immediate and usually superficial benefits I stood
to gain, the acceptance and approval of my peers in a specific situation.
I was not thinking of how this decision could, in the long run, negatively
affect who I was as a person; or how it might hurt my parents and friends,
or even how it could complicate my life in the future. When you succumb
to pressure to use alcohol, take drugs, become sexually active prematurely,
or engage in other risky and socially questionable behaviors
you are treating yourself with disrespect, you are potentially hurting
others, and you are complicating your existence in the long run of life.
Remember, when you feel pressure from your peers to conform
in the context of questionable behaviors, “Stop!” Pull the whole situation
out of time for a moment. Set it on the table, and scrutinize it for
what it really is: an attempt by somebody else to use you, and to control
your life for their satisfaction. Follow this exercise every time you
are pressured to conform, and you will not be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Peer pressure wants to force you to think in “micro” and to buy into whatever
the imagined “group thrill” of the moment might happen to be. Don’t let
it do that to you! Learn to think in “macro” as well as in “micro” and
you will be a much happier and more self-confident. The long-term gains
of avoiding peer pressure will far out weigh the short-term and temporary
gratification that giving in to your peers might produce.
Decision Making Time
After recognizing the peer pressure and
thinking about the consequences, it is decision-making
time. The confidence you have in yourself, as a result
of being able to think in “macro” not just in “micro” will
position you well for the daily decisions you need to make.
So ask yourself, “Am I confident enough to stand up for
myself and not follow the crowd into questionable behaviors?
Am I emotionally positioned to make decisions in the face
of peer pressure that will positively affect my life, rather
than negatively?"
These are critical questions. It takes a strong person
to say “No” to peer pressure. But each time you stand up
for yourself, and resist inappropriate attempts to push you were you don’t
want to go, you are telling yourself, and the world, that you value your
life too much to send it into a train wreck; and you’re inviting those
who push you to value their lives similarly. It may be hard to do this
at first, but the more you do it, the more your confidence will grow.
The decisions you make today are going to determine what you encounter
tomorrow! So be confident; think in “macro” not just in “micro” and you
will handle and begin avoiding peer pressure with growing effectiveness. Determine your own
destiny!
How BoostKids Can Help:
BoostKids is a program that can help increase a child’s confidence by teaching social skills to children and building their character. BoostKids has been and is currently being taught in schools, non-profit organizations, and after-school programs. The program is now available as an at-home training program for children and their parents. The key training tool of the BoostKids program is an interactive CD-ROM that shows kids the right-way and the wrong-way to handle social situations. They learn from real kid actors in real-life scenerios!
For more information about what’s included in BoostKids, click here.
ORDER NOW - Free 30-day Trial, click here.
By Charlie Copp, Director of Boost Kids
As seen in the September 2006 edition of Varsity View
About the author: Charlie Copp, Executive
Director of Boost Kids, LLC, wrote this article. Charlie is a 2004 graduate
of the University of Pennsylvania and former captain of the Men’s Basketball
team. Boost Kids is a national program designed to increase confidence
and teach young people the Social Skills and Character Development necessary
for success in life.
Click
Here to view the article on Varsity View
